Just recently I found out that some people I love very much think I hate Christians. I was shocked, but maybe I shouldn’t have been. I do poke holes in Christian logic frequently, and I can see how this could be misunderstood to be directed at the people who have these beliefs. So, let me clarify what I really think and feel.
I came from a Christian family, and I used to be a Christian, so I know what it’s like to be completely sure something is true with all my heart without evidence. But after a long journey, which started with studying the bible in order to get closer to God, I opened my eyes to the reality that religion and god are man-made constructions to meet emotional and psychological needs.
Even if we are independent, healthy, and happy people, we are not immune to the conditioning of the environment in which we were raised. Even if our trusted loved ones did not teach us about God since birth, we are surrounded by it in our culture. It’s so easy to accept something without really analyzing it when everyone around us accepts it as unquestionable. Even if we don’t accept it at first, when a crisis happens or even a joyful experience, maybe things start going well for us for the first time in a long time, it’s natural to revert back to our conditioned beliefs or to things that were told to us by trusted individuals. We may think that the people who preached the gospel to us were right all along because of some event. When we have this epiphany, it is emotional. We feel relief, peace, and joy. I’ve felt it; I know. But the thing is, this happens in every religion. People, regardless of belief system, experience the same emotional rush and believe that truth has been revealed to them. The sheer number of different belief systems where this occurs is evidence that this is a psychological phenomenon having nothing to do with supernatural truth. Further evidence of this is the fact that a Christian born in America would be a Hindu if born in India. Religions are regional. You are taught to believe it by the people around you.
With this in mind, I do not think Christians are stupid for believing. I think it’s natural. As more and more people are exposed to different cultures and beliefs, more and more people give up religion. Some people are highly invested in their religious beliefs and have no impulse to critically analyze it, and religions discourage it by saying we just need to have faith, as if believing something without evidence is a desirable thing.
But when I opened my eyes to the reality of the contradictions in the bible, the sketchy historical evidence for Christianity, and the scientific impossibility of scriptural accounts and combined that with ethical concerns over the morality of the God of most religions, I just could not believe it anymore, and I don’t want to. But I could not even if I did want to. What is seen cannot be unseen. And with this realization comes the knowledge of the shaky ground upon which Christianity stands. Now, I see holes and fallacies in it everywhere, so it is easy to poke fun of it and disrespect it. But I do not do this out of a dislike of Christians. I do it out of a desire to promote truth.
But in fact, I do sometimes hate Christianity. For the few good things done in the name of the religion, a thousand bad things result. When I see what Christianity has done to the world, to our country, to logic and progress, it angers me. It divides the nation and causes people who would ordinarily be compassionate people to side with heinous politicians who preach hatred and selfishness. It turns normally good people—people who would be kind, loving, and accepting if not for their strict dogmatic beliefs to fear, avoid, and hate those who don’t believe. It makes parents disown their gay children. It creates distance between brothers and sisters whose views are different. Christianity causes people to hate, war, and sue each other over things that should not be any of their business. It causes people to think they can tell another group they should have less rights. It makes people think they are better, more correct, and more moral than other really good people. It causes people to speak harshly and tell others they will burn in hell for just being human. It causes people to shun those who believe differently. It causes children to stop speaking to parents. It causes couples to fight and neighbors to keep to themselves. It causes teenagers to commit suicide because they can’t accept who they are and fathers to call daughters whores and mothers to keep their children from loving relatives who might infect their little ones with rational thinking. It invades our politics, our government, public life, schools, and personal lives. Christians sometimes think atheists are arrogant for not believing in God, but the height of arrogance is to claim that you have the one perfect truth and direct access to God. So, yeah, I have a problem with Christianity. Occasionally, I have a problem with Christians who do the above behaviors.
I do not, however, have any dislike for Christians who are kind and do not insist that others live lives acceptable to their moral codes. I enjoy my Christian friends who care for the poor, see their neighbors as friends instead of enemies, and believe their religion is a personal choice, and that everyone else in the country does not have to abide by the rules and dogma of their particular religions. I do not dislike Christians who like me and treat me with kindness even though I’m an atheist. And the truth is I’d love my family even if they did treat me badly, but they don’t. I do not believe they lack intelligence or critical thinking skills, even though I may believe they are using the fallacy of special pleading to exempt religion from the same critical analysis they apply to everything else.
I also believe I have every right to voice my disbelief in religion, just as they voice theirs. They wear crosses, verbally praise God, ask for prayer, and speak of miracles in their lives, just as I will continue to point out the flaws in the bible, wear atheist t-shirts, and put anti-religious bumper stickers on my car. I don’t assume they hate atheists because they wear a cross or have a fish on their cars, and they should not assume I hate Christians for pointing out how science disproved another verse in the bible.
I don’t want to hurt my Christian friends and loved ones. I just want to be real. I want to be the authentic me, and say what I really think, and I’m sorry that what I think is that Christianity is bullshit. I have the same need to speak truth that Christians feel when they speak of God’s supposed goodness and mercy. I have the need to tell my story of enlightenment, much the same as Christians have the need to tell their stories of redemption. But I don’t need faith to back up my claims because I have the evidence on my side.
Do I want Christians to wake up and see the flaws in their religions? Yes, sure. My life has been so much better since I gave up the fairy tale of religion, just like Christians want everyone else to wake up and accept salvation in their one true god. But do I hate them? Of course not. I remember what it was like to be them. Do I have disdain for their religion? Of course. I remember what it did to me, and I see everyday what it does to people I love. But we sometimes need to set aside our personal beliefs and just care about each other and not worry so much about what the other believes or does not believe. —Christina Knowles